My GrownUp Christmas List
by Giancarla
Summary: When was the last time you wrote to Santa? Why did you stop? An adult Serena ponders this very question as she reflects back on her life and contemplate her future.


Hello everyone! After a long hiatus, I'm finally back  
  
in action! Thank you for your patience, everyone! As a "thank-  
  
you" gift, I've got updates to "If Ever You're In My Arms Again",  
  
"5 Scouts, 5 Generals, 5 Near-Wedding Disasters, and "The Color  
  
Silver"! AND!!! As a bonus, TWO Christmas stories!!! Isn't   
  
that a GREAT gift?!  
  
I know, it's early for Christmas, but I just couldn't  
  
wait! So here it is, two months early!  
  
Anyway, here's one of the two Christmas fanfics.   
  
There are three different versions of this song but I've placed   
  
all three. The song really touched my heart and it does exemplify  
  
what I would like for the world. This is my gift to my readers,   
  
the world, and a message to whom this is dedicated for.   
  
Santa, this is for you from an old friend.  
  
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT MY PROPERTY. THE SONG IS WRITTEN BY  
  
DAVID FOSTER AND LINDA THOMPSON. SAILOR MOON IS NOT UNDER MY  
  
OWNERSHIP EITHER. I DON'T MAKE A PROFIT FROM EITHER.  
  
Visit my Website!  
  
http://www.moonchick.cjb.net  
  
MY GROWN-UP CHRISTMAS LIST  
  
By: Callista "Moonchick" Matthews  
  
E-Mail: Callista_Matthews@sailormoon.com  
  
Rated: PG  
  
"Mommy! Lookie! Lookie! I'm writing a letter to Santie Claus!"  
  
With blond meatballs bobbing on top of short, cute pigtails, a   
  
three-year-old Serena was eagerly showing her mom Irene her pink  
  
stationery with what Irene thought looked like an attempt at writing.  
  
"I'm gonna put lots of toys in my list so Santa can put them under  
  
the tree this year!"  
  
Irene smiled down to her only daugther, a two-month old  
  
Sammy in her arms. "Really, honey? What did you put down there?"  
  
Little Serena pointed to her "number one" wish. "Well, first  
  
I want a Prince Cha--, Chari--"  
  
"Charming?" Her mother helped.  
  
She brightened. "That's the one, Mommy! I was gonna put down  
  
a baby brother but you said that the 'stok' dropped him by already.  
  
Then I want a dollhouse, a Barbie, a bunch of flowers..." Serena   
  
just kept on with her list.  
  
"What kind of flowers, sweetheart?"  
  
Little Serena thought for a minute. "Roses! Red ones..."  
  
She happily exclaimed.  
  
Irene just smiled at her daughter once more, then to her  
  
little son. Serena suddenly went silent. Her tiny blond brows wrinkled   
  
in deep thought. Her gaze mysteriously wandered toward the buring fire.  
  
With the flames flickering, the logs crackled in the fireplace.  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
Do you remember me?  
  
I sat upon your knee  
  
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
"Mommy! Lookie! Lookie! I'm writing a letter to Santie Claus!"   
  
A three-year-old exhuberant Reeny was eagerly showing her mother the   
  
letter she was writing on her mini-desk. "I've got ALOT to ask him this  
  
Christmas!"  
  
Serena smiled from her armchair behind Reeny. Snapped out   
  
of her reverie of the past. "Do you, sweetheart? Let me see." She   
  
stood up and knelt behind her daughter, looking over her shoulder.   
  
"Hmm, that does look like a lot, doesn't it?" Giving her pink-haired   
  
bunny a kiss, she picked her up, drawing and excited shriek from   
  
Reeny and placed her on her lap. "How about I help you with your   
  
spelling, hmm?"  
  
"Mama?" Reeny turned her adorable face toward her mother.   
  
'Definitely takes after her father.' Serena thought.  
  
"Yes, pumpkin?"  
  
"Did you ever write to Santie Claus when you were little?"  
  
"I sure did, honey. Santa and I were regular pen-pals. I   
  
remember, when I was six, I asked him for a small doll house, but  
  
I got a BIG one instead! I was very excited when I woke up and found  
  
a doll house next to the tree." Serena smiled in remembrance. "I   
  
asked him for many things when I was small...But I haven't lately."  
  
"Why not, Mama?" Reeny wanted to know.  
  
Serena looked thoughtful. "I don't know, sweetheart. I really  
  
can't remember why."  
  
Reeny turned back to her letter-writing as her mother looked out  
  
to the snowy night through the window, gazing at the skies. 'Santa...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
Well I'm all grown up now  
  
Can you still help somehow?  
  
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
'This must seem really silly, but what do I have to lose?'   
  
Serena took out a sheet of pink stationery. 'Besides, maybe my wish   
  
will be heard by an old friend.'  
  
Dear Santa,   
  
It's been awhile, hasn't it? I've changed a lot since we last  
  
talked. I guess that by what has transpired in my life, I should  
  
be jaded and cynical. Fortunately, I didn't turn out that way,  
  
but I did stop writing to you. I guess, I started to get too  
  
serious and lost sight of the wistful things that gave us hope  
  
and dreams. I have a daughter now who is writing you a letter  
  
of things she wants, just like I did in the past when I was  
  
her age. But this Christmas, I'm asking for something else.   
  
  
  
Since my teenage years, I've fought for love and justice...  
  
But I've also fought for a peaceful future for us all, but most  
  
especially for my daughter and the children that we will never  
  
get to see.   
  
  
  
I wish for peace, not only for Earth, but for the  
  
universe. I wish for love to reign above all obstacles. I wish  
  
for the strength of forgiveness so we can forgive others for   
  
their wrongs. I wish for wisdom and fairness for Justice...  
  
This is what I, as well as my Scouts and Darien, have been   
  
fighting for all our lives. This is our purpose for existing.  
  
Our lives are dedicated, not to ourselves, but for the people  
  
of the universe. Maybe you can help us in our mission, Santa?  
  
One last time for old times' sake?  
  
With Love, your old friend,  
  
Serena Tsukino Chiba"  
  
"Serena! Honey! I'm home!! Hi my little munchkin! How's Daddy's  
  
perfect little girl doing?" Darien's voice carried through the hallway  
  
and into the small office.  
  
"I'm coming, sweetheart! I just have to wrap up something!" Serena gave   
  
the letter one last look before folding it up and placing it in an envelope.   
  
She placed it on the windowsill, turned out the lights and headed to the living   
  
room to greet her husband.  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
So here's my lifelong wish  
  
My grown up Christmas List  
  
Not for myself  
  
But for a world in need  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
"We're being invaded! We're being invaded! Everyone to the   
  
battlements! Sailor Scouts to the throne room! Civilians take cover!"  
  
Shouts rang through the crowded halls of the Moon Kingdom. People   
  
started to panic and scream in terror as the final days of the Moon  
  
Kingdom began to play out. "The Negaverse is attacking!!"  
  
"Earth has joined them! We have been betrayed!"  
  
Meanwhile, in the throne room with Queen Serenity, the Sailor  
  
Scouts, Princess Serenity, Prince Endymion, and the queen's cats, Luna  
  
and Artemis, an emergency conference was being held."  
  
"We have contacted Uranus, Neptune, Saturn, and Pluto, Your   
  
Majesty, but our allies will never reach us in time!" Queen Venus, the  
  
head of the Moon Kingdom's defenses reported. "It will more time than  
  
we have at our disposal to gather an army!"  
  
"Maybe I should go out there and convince my people to halt.   
  
Surely as their prince, I would be capable of convincing them to stop  
  
this unecessary attack! I must do something, Your Majesty!" Prince  
  
Endymion passionately declared.  
  
Despite the stressful moment and the palpable tension in the   
  
air, Queen Serenity gave the Earth Prince a small thoughtful smile.  
  
"I know you want to help us, Prince Endymion, and I also know you   
  
have played no part in this war. Your people are not to blame either.  
  
They are being used as mere pawns by the Negaverse. This attack is   
  
by no means with their will. However, as my daughter's fiancee and the  
  
future king of the Moon Kingdom, you must be protected along with the  
  
Princess and her guardians. If worse comes to worse, you are my   
  
daughter's last line of defense. My guardians and I will handle this  
  
situation. Protect my daughter."  
  
With that, the queen and her guardians raced outside to face  
  
the coming invasion. The course of fate ran then. In the end, there  
  
was neither a winner nor a loser. They were equal at that point in   
  
time. The Negaverse was contained, but at a price. The Moon Kingdom  
  
was destroyed and Queen Serenity gave up her remaining energy to   
  
activate the Emperium Silver Crystal to send her daughter, her   
  
prince, and her guardians to the future.  
  
  
  
'We will learn from the past.'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
No more lives torn apart  
  
That wars would never start  
  
And time would heal all hearts  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
"This can't BE!" Queen Beryl's last scream echoed through  
  
the deserted frozen landscape as her life was ended by a huge   
  
ball of light that originated from Princess Serenity and her   
  
Guardians.  
  
"Help me, Sailor Moon!" The Doom Tree pleaded with   
  
Sailor Moon and its wish was granted as it was reborn by the   
  
Silver Crystal.  
  
"You cannot defeat me!" Wiseman's voice reached Neo-  
  
Queen Serenity's as she prepared to use her life energy to  
  
protect her daughter, her lover, and her friends from the  
  
evil growing around them. With a look of determination, Neo-  
  
Queen Serenity held on to her strength. "Moon Crystal Power!"  
  
  
  
'We will continue to fight for our future, our children,  
  
and the universe...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
Every man would have a friend  
  
That right would always win  
  
And love would never end  
  
This is my grown up Christmas List  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
A flash ran through the Sailor Scouts' heads at the same  
  
time, putting a halt into whatever they were doing.  
  
Raye saw her younger self helping her grandfather drag in a  
  
Christmas tree and decorating it with garlands and ornaments. Her  
  
sick, but smiling mother bed-ridden next to the tree. Her mom was   
  
getting weaker and weaker, but she insisted on helping thread the  
  
popcorn on a string.  
  
Amy remembered the smell of the Christmas cookies she and her   
  
mom would bake for the holidays. Little Amy would then join her father   
  
in front of the fireplace as he drew their beautiful Christmas tree.  
  
Mina reminisced all the Christmas carols she would sing with   
  
her toy microphone. Her parents were amused to no end with the   
  
knowledge their daughter would be headed for stardom someday.  
  
Lita was tearing the wrappers off the gifts she received with  
  
gusto, her parents siting together watching their only child attack  
  
the gifts under the tree during Christmas morning. A smile on tiny   
  
Lita's face lit the whole room.  
  
A scene of Darien playing with a remote control car with   
  
his parents in the park flashed through his mind. His father had  
  
helped him assemble the remote control and placed batteries in it  
  
while his mother gathered all the discarded gift wrappers with a   
  
loving smile on her lips.  
  
Serena saw the time when she decided to make a one-year-old  
  
Sammy one of Santa's reindeer by placing a headband with antlers on  
  
his head. Serena and her father were laughing at the hysterical look  
  
of baby Sammy while her mother gave them both a tolerated look but  
  
chuckled softly to herself.  
  
'We will cherish the memories of happiness...'  
  
  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
As children we believed  
  
The grandest sight to see  
  
Was something lovely  
  
Wrapped beneath our tree  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
Then the devastating memories began to set, clouding  
  
their momentary happiness of happy Christmas memories.  
  
After that Christmas, Raye's mother had died of cancer.   
  
Feeling lost and helpless, a four-year old Raye sucumbed to depression  
  
as her happiness died with her mother. Her grandfather took her in and   
  
helped her cope with not only her mother's loss, but with her father's  
  
uncaring attitude towards his wife and their daughter.  
  
Lita's family also died the following year, leaving Lita  
  
with no family to love her, forcing her to grow up before her time.  
  
Spending her childhood in an orphanage, she started to get into fights  
  
as a direct result of her rage at the world.  
  
Darien was made an orphan two years after his memory of Christmas  
  
was made. A car accident one dark night turned an innocent, loving  
  
boy into a cynical and hard man. It would be several years before he  
  
would let another human being into his heart once more.  
  
Feelings of betrayal and hurt still ache in Mina's heart. A few  
  
years ago, she was dating a man named Alan whom she was truly in-love  
  
with. Mina always thought that Alan felt the same way about her, but   
  
she realized she was horribly wrong about a year later. Intending  
  
to surprise her boyfriend with a gift, she accidentally came across  
  
the scene of her boyfriend and her best friend, Katarina in a lovers'   
  
embrace.  
  
Shouts and accusations rang through Amy's head. Once again, she  
  
heard her parents constantly arguing about principles and goals. Her   
  
mother, the ever scientist and doctor, clashed in ideals with her   
  
father, the hopless poet and artist. Amy would never forget the day  
  
when the shouting finally stopped, but it was also the day when her  
  
father left.  
  
Serena's recent memories of heartache came from the brainwashing  
  
of her soulmate, Darien, and the feeling of her heart being halved. But  
  
it was nothing compared to the feeling of loss and heartache from Darien   
  
leaving her of his own accord. When Beryl took him away, he had no choice.   
  
But when he walked away, he was in control. Nothing ever compared to that   
  
time in her life.  
  
'We will overcome and learn from heartache and loss...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
Well heaven surely knows  
  
That packages and bows  
  
Can never heal  
  
A hurting human soul  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
'Wonderful' A lone figure with green hair and a Garnet Orb   
  
wistfully gazed on an open doorway. She was mezmerized by what she saw  
  
within one of the Gates of the Future. 'I'm gazing at what we have   
  
spent and fought all our lives for...' Before her lay the scene of peace  
  
and tranquility, a land filled with joy and justice. No wars ravaged  
  
the land, no catastrophe devastated the people, no injustice done  
  
against fellow men. It was the Perfect Future.  
  
Pluto returned to reality and giving one last look inside the  
  
doorway, she closed it. Although she longed for what she saw, it is  
  
still up to the universe to decide which future they wanted. As she   
  
walked through the wide corridor, she passed through similar gates,   
  
each showing all the possible futures the universe may end up with.   
  
"I hope we end up with that one..." Her whisper echoed through the   
  
Hall of the Future.  
  
'We will strive for the future's existence...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
May kindness rules our lives  
  
Not just the strong survive  
  
Sweet tears for all the thousand years on mind  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
"Fiore, let me help you. Help me be your friend." A  
  
ribbon-surrounded Sailor Moon implored. "Help me set you  
  
free."  
  
"Darien's rose came from you! Help me, Sailor Moon.  
  
Help me to be free." Fiore's tears ran down his cheeks, but  
  
they were tears of happiness. He finally felt free...  
  
'We will help each other...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
This is the world I pray  
  
We will all share some way  
  
Help me begin by reaching out your hand  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
After tucking in their baby girl for the night with the  
  
promise of presents, Serena and Darien settled in front of their fireplace.   
  
Snuggling up in her husband's arms, Serena let out a   
  
deep sigh.  
  
"Why do you sigh like that, honey?" Darien asked while   
  
brushing aside a small lock of hear from her forehead and placing  
  
a small kiss.  
  
"Do you ever get tired of it all?" Her voice oddly detached  
  
and serious. Very unlike Serena.  
  
"Tired of what?"  
  
"The fighting. Saving the world so many times at the  
  
expense of our lives and our future. Sometimes, I just ask   
  
myself, 'Why keep doing this?'. I get so weary of fighting and  
  
I wonder if this is how our lives will always be. In both of our  
  
lifetimes, we've been fighting evil. Will it ever end?" She clutched  
  
her mug of hot chocolate harder, unconsciously.  
  
Darien tipped his wife's face so he could look into her   
  
troubled eyes. "Serena, we both went through more things in our   
  
brief lives than any other living human ever has. In some ways,   
  
it was good experience, but in most, it was devestating. I guess   
  
the only think we can do would hope for the best and continue to   
  
strive to make the future as best as we possibly can for, not   
  
only our daughter, but for the children of the future." His lips  
  
captured hers, sending them into a world that was uniquely their  
  
own.  
  
'We will continue to love..."  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
No more lives torn apart  
  
That wars will never start  
  
And time will heal our hearts  
  
Every man will have a friend  
  
That right will always win  
  
And love will never end  
  
This is my grown up Christmas List  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
Outside the warm home, the chilly winter air softened  
  
and tenderly whisked the solitary leaves drifting by. For   
  
once, everything in the world seemed like it was in perfect  
  
harmony.  
  
'We will continue to dream...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
Why is this illusion called the innocence of youth?  
  
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth  
  
No...  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
"Beautiful." Serena whispered, looking outside their  
  
bedroom balcony window and into the view of the winter   
  
wonderland. Snow was falling softly to the ground and the  
  
sun was setting.  
  
All of a sudden, Serena felt detached from her world,   
  
her realisty. A vision filled Serena's head. It seemed  
  
like all time stopped in the moment.   
  
Serena's mind was then snatched from her reality  
  
and into another world. The world her consciousness landed  
  
in was entirely different than her own.  
  
She saw the world of the future through her eyes.  
  
Her beloved husband, the king of Earth and the Moon, with  
  
undying love in his eyes for her to see openly, was waiting  
  
for her inside their bedroom, his hand stretched out for her  
  
to take. He led her to the balcony of their bedroom, placing   
  
his hand on the small of her back to guide her. A teenage   
  
Reeny's smile greeted her at the balcony as the husband and   
  
wife walked.  
  
The sight she saw took her breath away.   
  
Outside the palace she saw the city glittering under  
  
the sun. People hustling and bustling around on the streets  
  
below, happy families walking around in the sunny park with   
  
their children running all around. A teenage boy was helping  
  
an elderly lady cross the street. Motorists were cooperating  
  
with each other and giving way to pedestrians with smiles.  
  
Shoppers were walking leisurely about with Christmas gifts  
  
in their hands. Couples walked hand in hand, beaming smiles  
  
on their faces. The whole city radiated love, peace, and  
  
joy.   
  
With tears she could feel, she thought, 'This is  
  
it. This is all I could have ever hoped for. This is what  
  
we fought for and continue to protect...'  
  
'We will keep that star in sight...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
No more lives torn apart  
  
That wars would never start  
  
And time would heal our hearts  
  
Every man would have a friend  
  
That right would always win  
  
And love would never end  
  
This is my grown up Christmas List  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
"Come on, little bunny, we need to go to Grandma and  
  
Grandpa's for your presents there. Aunties Mina, Rei, Lita,   
  
Ami, and Michiru as well as Uncle Haruka with Hotary will be   
  
there." Darien helped his tiny daughter with her small woolly  
  
jacket. "You've got so many presents this year!"  
  
"Really Daddy? Do I really?" Reeny looked up into   
  
her father's eyes, excitement twinkling in her pink gaze.  
  
"Of course cottoncandy head. Now go get ready by the door  
  
while I get your mommy."  
  
Darien guided his daughter to the door, momentarily   
  
stopping to just enjoy the moment. He saw clearly in his mind   
  
the first time he held his newborn baby girl in his arms, the  
  
first few steps she took towards him, the first time she ever  
  
smiled at him, her face filled with innocent happiness and   
  
beauty. A soul unmarred by the hardships in life, feeling  
  
protected and safe.   
  
  
  
He then went about the task of finding his missing wife,  
  
at last finding her standing by their bedroom window. He was   
  
about to call out to her, but he sensed something was not as it  
  
should be. She seemed too still, very unlike the animated and   
  
lively girl of his past, and the woman of his present and future.  
  
Instead, he slowly creeped up behind her, capturing her softly  
  
spoken words.  
  
"Beautiful." She whispered.  
  
Darien wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, embracing  
  
her with the warmth and love that was his essence; something she  
  
could always feel. "What's beautiful, meatball head?"  
  
Moments of silence passed by. Finally, Serena looked back   
  
to his beloved face, the only constant in all of her lives and   
  
softly kissed his lips. Darien returned the kiss with equal   
  
passion, equal love. When the kiss ended their foreheads met,   
  
quietly contemplating all that had transpired between them and the  
  
future ahead.  
  
"I'll show you someday, honey."  
  
  
  
Walking hand-in-hand across the park with their  
  
skipping cottoncandy head ahead of them, they looked like the  
  
quintecential happy family with a bright future waiting for   
  
them. Reeny's tinkling laughter filled the winter air, giving  
  
off the feeling of wamth and family.  
  
Something urged Serena to look back toward their house,   
  
a soft tug. When she did, she saw their window quietly opening  
  
and a gust of winter wind whirrled around her letter until  
  
finally carrying out into the winter night.  
  
A soft smile appeared on Serena's lips.   
  
"Thanks Santa."  
  
  
  
'Until someday, that one sweet day. We won't have to fight   
  
any more...'  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-*  
  
This is my grown-up Christmas List  
  
This is my only life-long wish  
  
This is my grown up Christmas list  
  
Christmas list  
  
*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-0-*-* 


End file.
